This morning, I came across a great post
by Sheila Gregoire of "...to Love, Honor and Vacuum
a blog dedicated to all things marriage (including sex!) from a
Christian perspective. Many of Sheila's posts resonate for me, and this
seems to have hit a note with a whole lotta women: Fight the Frump.
I'm finding myself inspired and affirmed and heartbroken reading
through all the comments. One thing is for sure, we women have a lot to
say about our bodies and our style.
Naturally, it got me thinking about frumpy. I have long been determined not
be a frumpy mommy, to put some effort
into myself. I don't consider
this selfish in the least - I believe it is being a good steward of what
God gave me. Of course, there is a line and the line varies for
different people. For me, if "taking care of myself" started to
infringe on my marriage, my family or my budget, that would be a good
indication that things are crossing into selfish territory! Otherwise, I
have learned the hard way to have proper priorities - and "me" is right
up there! Without a happy healthy me, it is sure hard to have a happy
healthy marriage, family, job, friendships, and everything else. Put on YOUR oxygen mask first
they say. We women tend to put our kids first, our church roles first,
our husbands first, and culture seems to glorify that; a motherly
sacrifice. But IMHO, it may be a self-sacrifice but it isn't anything
to brag about. I'm much more interested in how women balance their
roles and responsibilities and still maintain proper priorities... and
of course I'm interested in personal style!
I think frumpy is less about clothes and more about attitude
Some people wear sweats and a tee and look chic. Some people wear
business casual and look uncomfortable. This much I know: it has
nothing to do with size and nothing to do with budget, but time does
play a role. For example, I have friends of all shapes and sizes that
have found awesome pieces at VV Boutique, but you need time to look
around and try on. Even if you can't find an item of clothing on every
trip, you can often find finishing pieces like bags, scarves and
accessories that make the outfit! Repeat after me: it is okay to take
time to shop for yourself. This is necessary step in preparing yourself to fight the frump
and is exactly why What Not to Wear takes women away for a week! You
need to invest some time in order for it to flow smoothly on an ordinary
Since it's my day off, I had time to
ask my kids to snap some shots of my personal frumpy look... For me, frumpy = yoga-type pants, plain tee, hoody and running shoes.
Note that I have no accessories, no make-up and my hair is pulled into a
Can't quite believe I'm sharing this.
Hmmm, actually it isn't as bad as I thought it would be.
I said "personal frumpy look" because for some people, this outfit might make them feel great and that
makes all the difference. However, it doesn't do that for me! I don't
even relax at home looking like this; maybe when camping but even then I
wear cuter shoes and comfy slouchy rolled jeans. And accessories. And
mascara. I liked how Sheila timed how long it took her to put together
her looks, so I did the same! It took me 1min 30 seconds to dress
frumpy (including pulling my clothes out of the closet, tying up my shoes)
plus 30 seconds to comb my hair and pull it in a pony. Total: 2 minutes.
Here is how I fought the frump, using the same elements from the outfit above: comfy pants, comfy top, outer layer, comfy shoes:
Necklace was an extra awesome gift and earrings are from my closet
This outfit took 1min 50 seconds to put on including
changing my mind about my cardi and
accessorizing with earrings and a necklace. These shoes have awesome
tread and slip on and off hands-free! Much more convenient than
My make-up and
took 4min 35 seconds. I should note that I don't wash my hair every
day and usually take extra time to blow dry, straighten or curl it when I
do wash it, and then I can get 3 or 4 more days mileage out of it! In
my "fashion" look, it's still
a pony tail, but is styled much more polished. Total time: 6min 25 seconds.
I think the difference is well worth four and a half minutes. For anyone familiar with Fly Lady
you know the importance of "dressing to shoes" - for yourself,
everyday. It makes a difference in how your approach your home and your
I have an organized closet so could easily pull what I wanted - this is part of the prep that is an investment
for your everyday life! I figure, you either need a small wardrobe
with quality pieces that you know will fit well and work together OR an
ample wardrobe that allows some experimentation without being
overwhelming and hard to navigate. Same goes for accessories, bags and
I didn't have anything special planned today.
Other than the people I saw at school drop-off and pick-up, I didn't see
anyone besides my kids, and my husband won't be home in time to see me
in these clothes. Because I'll be in jammies!!!
This is not a "special" dress and dresses by nature do not need to be reserved for special occasions
. In fact, the more you incorporate them into your everyday wardrobe, the better Styles per Cost
or cost per wear you will get. I found this look more
comfortable than the stretch pants and tee which do nothing for my mid-section! There's some discussion in Sheila's comments about aprons; well, girls, I have been wearing aprons since before
had kids, when I had a giant slobbery dog to content with. Now, I slip
one on as I prepare meals and pack lunches. No need to change into
Thank you Sheila
for inspiring such a great conversation amongst women! I look forward to reading more on the Fight the Frump series and seeing women reap the fruit in their real lives!